Interview with a Saber Tooth Tiger

Cave lion(esse)s, Aurignacian era; Chauvet cave, France

From our science correspondent AA.

AA:?We?re in a cave at an undisclosed location on the Himalayas, interviewing Ms. Lilypad, a saber tooth tiger. Ms. Lilypad, what made you agree to this interview after your species has lived incognito for literally millennia?

LP:?I got tired listening to the TED goombahs going on and on about de-extinction.? So I decided to write my memoirs.? Why should everyone get rich and famous but us?

AA:?Were you able to find agent representation?

LP:?(Extends a claw towards an avalanche of printouts). They?re falling all over themselves, but most are suggesting chewtoys as royalties.? What do they take us for, wolves?

AA:?Everyone thought you?d gone extinct.? How did you manage to survive?

LP:?We had to leave yaks alone, couldn?t afford to arouse suspicions.? We scraped along by carefully harvesting yetis, plus the occasional climbing expedition when things got really lean.? Though humans are more trouble than they?re worth, with all that extra stuff to remove.? Do you know how bad GoreTex tastes?? Plus it wreaks havoc with our digestion.

AA:?How did you manage to escape detection, especially after the advent of sophisticated surveillance technologies?

LP:?Whenever we crossed in front of one of those silly hidden cameras, we clapped a paw over our fangs.? The National Geographic doofuses thought we were Siberian tigers (snickers and grooms her whiskers).

AA:?Are the others in your group on board with breaking cover after all this time?

LP:?Most are.? The warmup made the yeti population plummet. Plus made them tougher to chew. We?re all looking forward to real food, like mammoth steaks (starts opening a jar of horseradish sauce).

AA:?But if you eat mammoths, you?ll drive them back into extinction!

LP:?Do you want to have an unregulated mammoth population explosion?? If we don?t do our part, they?ll trample everything into mud! (Sniffs the horseradish sauce, wrinkles her nose).? Besides, you?re a fine one to talk.? Rapacious bipeds.

AA:?Point taken.? Where would you prefer to live, given a choice?

LP:?The Siberian cousins tell us things look pretty grim up there.? Similar reports from the Polar Bear Bureau on Greenland and Nunavut. Antarctica has a good food supply, though the habitat?? We considered zoos but the photos look awful.? I mean, aluminum bathtubs? Circuses are better ? at least you get to do something.? So we got proactive, put together a proposal for cleanup services.? Sent it to big-city mayors.

AA:?What was the response?

LP:?Guarded.? On the other hand, we got eager queries from cartels and military leaders.

AA:?How much territory would you require?

LP:?Something the size of Rhode Island. (Pause).? Per tiger.

AA:?Would you consent to being part of scientific investigations?? Experimentations?

LP:?We?re flexible.? But after watching a few episodes of Nova, we?re really wary.? Some things are off the list for sure.? Ixnay to tranquilizer darts and forced mating. (Eyes correspondent?s arm)? Mind if I test the horseradish sauce on you?

AA:?Bad idea.

LP:?Ok. (Grumbles under her breath).

AA:?What do you think of the transhumanists? ideas about uplift?

LP:?We saber tooth tigers are already as uplifted as we want and need to be.

AA:?What about their concept of turning predators into loving vegetarians?

LP:?Send them over, we can discuss this face to face (starts opening a jar of wasabi).? Send over the guys who think that tiger parts cure impotence, while you?re at it.

AA:?Speaking of that, have you had cubs of your own?

LP:?A few.? Hard to find nice males with a decent genetic pedigree.? Plus they try to expand into your territory afterwards, as if one mating gives them lifelong rights (growls).? Also hard to teach the cubs good hunting habits, with all the skulking and hiding we?ve had to do.

AA:?Are you looking forward to becoming part of the world?

LP:?We do the live-and-let-live thing, everyone?s happy.

AA:?By the way, isn?t Lilypad an odd name for a top-of-the-chain predator?

LP:?My mom named me after the tiger in Elizabeth Marshall Thomas? Animal Wife, whose pawprints looked like water lily leaves.? (Purrs).? She read a lot ? winters here are long!

Lilypad; photo by Peter Cassidy, staff photographer

?

Source: http://rss.sciam.com/click.phdo?i=5d8a46217b9cbe3d8685b2583a0bbdd3

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How Parallel Universes Actually Work, Scientifically

Parallel universes are basically the most popular trope in science fiction, because Batman and Spider-Man in alternate universe costumes are awesome, and also human life is inherently full of awful, soul-crushing regret. But how does the science actually work? More »

Source: http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/gizmodo/full/~3/Uw90G8EwI1U/how-parallel-universes-actually-work-scientifically

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Suspect in Colo. prison chief death got out four years early

DENVER (AP) ? Because of a paperwork error, the suspect in last month's killing of Colorado's corrections chief was freed from prison in January ? four years earlier than authorities intended.

Judicial officials acknowledged Monday that Evan Spencer Ebel's previous felony conviction had been inaccurately recorded and his release was a mistake.

In 2008, Ebel pleaded guilty in rural Fremont County to assaulting a prison officer. In the plea deal, Ebel was to be sentenced to up to four additional years in prison, to be served after he completed the eight-year sentence that put him behind bars in 2005, according to a statement from Colorado's 11th Judicial District.

However, the judge did not say the sentence was meant to be "consecutive," or in addition to, Ebel's current one. So the court clerk recorded it as one to be served "concurrently," or at the same time. That's the information that went to the state prisons, the statement said.

So on Jan. 28, prisons officials saw that Ebel had finished his court-ordered sentence and released him. They said they had no way of knowing the plea deal was intended to keep Ebel behind bars for years longer.

Two months later, Ebel was dead after a shootout with authorities in Texas. The gun he used in the March 21 gunbattle was the same one used to shoot and kill prisons chief Tom Clements two days earlier. Police believe Ebel also was involved in the death of a Domino's Pizza delivery man, Nathan Leon, in Denver.

"The court regrets this oversight and extends condolences to the families of Mr. Nathan Leon and Mr. Tom Clements," said a statement signed by Charles Barton, chief judge of the 11th Judicial District, and court administrator Walter Blair.

Leon's father-in-law told The Associated Press he had no immediate comment.

Leon's widow told KUSA-TV in Denver the apology wouldn't cut it for the death of her husband and the father of her twin girls.

"It ain't going to bring Tom Clements back. It's not going to bring my children's father back. How do I tell my 4-year-olds, 'Daddy was murdered because of a clerical error'?" Katherine Leon said.

The court officials vowed to review their procedures to ensure the error isn't repeated.

"The Colorado Department of Corrections values its long-standing partnership with the 11th Judicial District and the district attorney's office to maintain order at the prisons in Canon City. We commend both the 11th Judicial District and the DOC for reviewing their own internal processes and procedures," Gov. John Hickenlooper's spokeswoman Megan Castle said in a written statement.

The attack that led to the plea deal took place in 2006. According to prison and court records, Ebel slipped out of handcuffs while being transferred from a cell and punched a prison officer in the face. He bloodied the officer's nose and finger, and threatened to kill the officer's family.

"If Mr. Ebel was prosecuted for an assault on an officer, it had to be pretty severe, because in the course of day-to-day work, correctional officers are regularly assaulted or threatened," said Pueblo County Commissioner Buffie McFadyen, who is executive director of the correctional officer group Corrections U.S.A.

"It sounds like a horrific oversight," she said of the mistake that led to Ebel's release this year. "It's a tragic clerical error."

Ebel spent much of his time behind bars in solitary confinement and had a long record of disciplinary violations. Records show he joined a white supremacist prison gang.

Ebel's early release was just the latest twist in a case full of painful ironies. His father is friends with Hickenlooper and had testified before the Colorado Legislature about the damage solitary confinement did to his son. Clements was worried about that very issue.

Hickenlooper raised the case with Clements when the governor hired him to come to Colorado in 2011. The Democratic governor said he never mentioned Ebel's name and the inmate received no special treatment.

___

Associated Press writer Catherine Tsai contributed to this report.

Source: http://news.yahoo.com/suspect-colo-prison-chief-death-got-early-224924922.html

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All Quiet On The Western Front: Gaming M&A May Be In A Lull As A ...

When you step off the elevator into Kixeye?s new downtown San Francisco office, a guy in military fatigues has you sign an NDA. After you do (I didn?t), a receptionist with a lot of piercings takes your name, while The White Panda?s ?Foolish Monsters? blares in the background. Kixeye has whale harpoons stapled to its office walls, bad oil paintings (see left), ceiling-to-floor drawings of fire-breathing dragons and jacked unicorns, a 3-D printer of questionable purpose and little desire to answer to anyone else.

All while remaining profitable, the midcore social gaming company has quintupled its headcount over the last year to more than 450 employees. The company says it has ?several? times the $19 million in capital they raised stowed away in the bank.

Too expensive for acquirers and still too small and unproven for public markets, privately-held gaming companies like Kixeye are chugging along profitably and doing things their own way.

?We don?t talk about exit scenarios here. The employees are not here for that,? said Brandon Barber, who is Kixeye?s chief marketing officer. ?Most people are here because they love making games and that?s what they want to do. Focusing on that stuff at this point in our trajectory is super distracting.? (If you want to know what Kixeye really thinks of everyone else in the industry, watch this video.)

Meanwhile, across the Atlantic, other privately-held gaming companies such as Finland?s Rovio and Supercell, the U.K.?s King and Germany?s Wooga are also growing profitable businesses.

Buyers Beware

That feeling is mutual on the buyers? side too. Warner Bros said last week that it would be opening a gaming studio in San Francisco. In other words, it is choosing to build, not buy.

?Every time we looked at a company that was really interesting, we found that the price tag was more money than we thought was reasonable to pay,? said Greg Ballard, who is Warner Bros. senior vice president of digital games.

Similarly, EA is holding off after some big ticket deals in the last few years to buy Seattle?s PopCap for up to $1.3 billion.

?With regards to a large acquisition, we?re probably OK for the time being,? said Nick Earl, who oversees most of EA?s free-to-play games as a senior vice president there. ?If the right deal presents itself, we would make that deal. But we?re not actively seeking it.? He said his arm of EA?s business, the All Play label, is putting more effort into a smaller number of games this year.

Likewise, Zynga?s COO David Ko emphasized a more ?disciplined? approach toward acquisitions in an interview with me last month. Zynga?s shares were burned after the $180 million deal to buy Draw Something-maker OMGPOP. After some layoffs and a hard pivot to mobile platforms, Ko said the company is a lot more rigorous about what it looks for. Since OMGPOP, Zynga has only done a few talent deals with startups such as A Bit Lucky.

Basically, buyers and sellers are at odds over what these companies should be worth. Sellers want several times annualized revenues ? based on the months where they have hits. Buyers have limited cash and are aware of how difficult it is to integrate acquisitions and retain talent in such a competitive market. GREE?s U.S. CEO Naoki Aoyagi told me in a panel at an event put on by investment bank Covert & Co. earlier this week that the company was much more careful about structuring retention with the $210 million deal to buy Funzio compared to the time that they spent $104 million to buy OpenFeint. He said he was much ?happier? with the Funzio outcome, given that the co-founders have stayed on.

?Just a few years ago top media companies would pay high multiples for game companies on emerging platforms whose ultimate profitability was still unclear,? said Kristian Segerstrale, who just stepped down as executive vice president of EA?s digital business and came to EA through the $300 million acquisition of Playfish. ?Most large media companies are still digesting past acquisitions and can simply not afford a reasonable multiple on today?s stars.?

Why Sell?

At the same time, if you can run a creative business that generates loads of cash when you have a hit, why work for anyone else?

On the back of two hit iOS games ?Clash of Clans? and ?Hay Day?, Finland?s Supercell is opting for a massive round of more than $100 million over acquisition conversations, sources tell me.

?There is a set of profitable, cash generating companies that feel they have a very legitimate shot at challenging the existing cadre of public game companies as the industry?s next leaders,? added Segerstrale, who didn?t comment specifically about Supercell. His early-stage firm Initial Capital is one of Supercell?s largest shareholders.

What that means is that is that the M&A market for big gaming deals might be quiet in the short-term ? at least in the West. (The Japanese market is an exception with deals like GREE?s deal to buy Pokelabo, Nexon?s acquisition of Gloops and Softbank?s recent investment in Gung Ho Entertainment.)

It?s possible that the big gaming companies could start to feel comfortable with public markets in a few years, if they have a broad enough portfolio of hit franchises. Companies like San Francisco?s Kabam, Seattle?s Big Fish Games and Finland?s Rovio already regularly report basic revenue figures to generate interest ? either from future public shareholders or buyers.

On top of that, it looks like this year is the first one where a single mobile game?s revenues could rival that of a traditional console blockbuster. Japan?s Gung Ho Entertainment published a financial statement a few days ago suggesting that its iOS game Puzzle & Dragons made somewhere between $62 million and 86 million, all in a single month and all from Japan. That company?s stock has surged by more than 2,000% in the last year because of that single title, and Gung Ho is now worth more than $4.8 billion, according to its market capitalization.

IPO Window Still Feels Closed

But none of these companies are going out to market now, especially considering that Zynga shares fell by almost three-quarters in the first year after the company went public.

Instead, this generation of gaming companies is biding its time, riding the wave of surging iOS and Android revenues and making sure that their businesses are more hit-proof.

?IPOs are fine, but there have also been scenarios where it was too much of a focus. Ultimately, they?ve been very destructive to companies that were doing notable and amazing things,? Barber said. ?Those variables have to be weighed super carefully, so we?re not in a rush.?

King, an arcade-gaming company that started more than a decade ago, just made the leap to mobile last fall. Its game Candy Crush Saga has been competing with Supercell?s ?Clash of Clans? for the top-grossing spot in the U.S. That single title blew through all of the?s company 2013 financial targets in a single month and brought them more mobile daily active users than Zynga had last quarter. They?ve quadrupled their headcount in the last two years ago, haven?t taken funding for eight and have always been profitable.

?We?re not planning to be acquired. There?s a bright future for us, whether we will do an IPO or not,? said King?s CEO Riccardo Zacconi. ?We?re just working on execution.?

Source: http://techcrunch.com/2013/03/31/gaming-deals/

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Pope makes Easter pleas for Mideast peace

Pope Francis, holding the pastoral staff, celebrates the Easter mass in St. Peter's Square at the Vatican, Sunday, March 31, 2013. "Our daily problems and worries can wrap us up in ourselves, in sadness and bitterness, and that is where death is," he said. "Let the risen Jesus enter your life, welcome him as a friend, with trust: he is life!" said Pope Francis during the Easter vigil. (AP Photo/Gregorio Borgia)

Pope Francis, holding the pastoral staff, celebrates the Easter mass in St. Peter's Square at the Vatican, Sunday, March 31, 2013. "Our daily problems and worries can wrap us up in ourselves, in sadness and bitterness, and that is where death is," he said. "Let the risen Jesus enter your life, welcome him as a friend, with trust: he is life!" said Pope Francis during the Easter vigil. (AP Photo/Gregorio Borgia)

Pope Francis, holding the pastoral staff, walks past the closed icon of Jesus as he celebrates the Easter mass in St. Peter's Square at the Vatican, Sunday, March 31, 2013. "Our daily problems and worries can wrap us up in ourselves, in sadness and bitterness, and that is where death is," he said. "Let the risen Jesus enter your life, welcome him as a friend, with trust: he is life!" said Pope Francis during the Easter vigil. (AP Photo/Gregorio Borgia)

Pope Francis, holding the pastoral staff, celebrates the Easter mass in St. Peter's Square at the Vatican, Sunday, March 31, 2013. "Our daily problems and worries can wrap us up in ourselves, in sadness and bitterness, and that is where death is," he said. "Let the risen Jesus enter your life, welcome him as a friend, with trust: he is life!" said Pope Francis during the Easter vigil.(AP Photo/Gregorio Borgia)

Pope Francis celebrates the Easter mass in St. Peter's Square at the the Vatican Sunday, March 31, 2013. "Our daily problems and worries can wrap us up in ourselves, in sadness and bitterness, and that is where death is," he said. "Let the risen Jesus enter your life, welcome him as a friend, with trust: he is life!" said Pope Francis during the Easter vigil. (AP Photo/Andrew Medichini)

Faithful hold a heart shaped banner reading in Italian "Pope Francis we love you. Happy Easter" in St. Peter's square at the Vatican on the occasion of the celebration of the Easter mass Sunday, March 31, 2013. "Our daily problems and worries can wrap us up in ourselves, in sadness and bitterness, and that is where death is," he said. "Let the risen Jesus enter your life, welcome him as a friend, with trust: he is life!" said Pope Francis during the Easter vigil. (AP Photo/Andrew Medichini)

VATICAN CITY (AP) ?

Pope Francis is making an Easter Sunday peace plea, saying conflicts have lasted too long in Syria, and between Israelis and Palestinians.

Francis also urges reconciliation on the Korean peninsula, where North Korea says it has entered "a state of war" with South Korea.

Before a crowd of 250,000 in St. Peter's Square he also denounced warfare and terrorism in Africa, and decried a greedy affluent world looking for "easy gain."

Associated Press

Source: http://hosted2.ap.org/APDEFAULT/3d281c11a96b4ad082fe88aa0db04305/Article_2013-03-31-Vatican-Easter/id-6ec6b206edcf4ddc823ec73391559ec1

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U.S. face-transplant recipient marries burn victim: report

(Reuters) - Face-transplant recipient Dallas Wiens married a fellow burn victim on Saturday in the same church where his face was melted in an electrical accident, the Dallas Morning News reported.

In 2011, Wiens received the first full face transplant ever performed in the United States.

Wiens, 27, was married to Jamie Nash of Garland, Texas, at Ridglea Baptist Church in Fort Worth before 150 people, the newspaper said on its website.

"I am blessed beyond measure that you have chosen me, and I love you with all of my heart," the daily quoted Wiens as telling Nash.

Wiens, a Fort Worth native, met Nash in 2011 at Dallas' Parkland Memorial Hospital, where they attended the same support group for burn victims.

Nash, 29, was burned over 70 percent of her body in a one-car accident in June 2010. Today she speaks at schools and churches about the perils of texting while driving.

Wiens was in a cherry picker painting the Ridglea church in November 2008 when his left temple touched a high-voltage wire. His face was burned to the skull and he was left sightless.

Wiens was unconscious at Parkland hospital for three months and underwent more than 20 major surgeries.

It is the second marriage for both Wiens and Nash. Wiens has a 5-year-old daughter, and Nash has a 10-year-old daughter and a son, 6.

(Reporting by Ian Simpson. Editing by Corrie MacLaggan and Eric Beech)

Source: http://news.yahoo.com/u-face-transplant-recipient-marries-burn-victim-report-203040558.html

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Must-win matches? Maybe

There are no must-wins four weeks into an eight-month season, but since that?s the language that gets thrown around, we?ll roll with it. Yes, anybody can recover from a winless month, but since nobody wants to go into April with a ?0? in the win column, a sense of urgency is understandable.

One team is already guaranteed a winless month, with Chicago getting the weekend off after a 0-3-1 start. As a result, rumblings are beginning to sound around Frank Klopas, the man at the helm of a team expected to compete for the playoffs. If the Fire can?t get things turned around in April, Steve?s words may prove prescient: ?Klopas cannot possibly survive much more of what we?ve seen around Toyota Park.?

It?s important to note Klopas?s potential peril is the result of expectations ? goals which feed into the early angst. But not every team expected 2013 to be a winning one. Of the league?s four active winless sides, only two expected to be contenders this season, and while the situation in Portland is unique because of the hype around Caleb Porter, the Timbers? Saturday opponents had few expectations of playoff soccer.

With that context, here?s how we rate the severity of today?s must-win scenarios, in terms of need:

1 ? New York Red Bulls: Really need to break through

New York?s at home, against a team they should beat, and haven?t been that bad this season. Their two losses were on one-goal defeats at Montr?al and San Jose, and you could argue the Red Bulls could have won their draws against Portland and D.C. United. Yes, their failure to get wins is more important than their proximity to them, but their underlying form matters when judging how the team?s actually played.

If they carry that form into today?s game in Harrison, New York shouldn?t have much of a problem against Philadelphia (3:30 p.m. Eastern on NBCSN). If they do, new management could start asking questions. Mike Petke?s unlikely to feel much heat, but some of the players ? particularly the ones held over from the previous regime ? could be put under the microscope.

2 ? Portland Timbers: First doubts could surface

The Timbers have looked good this year. They played the perfect Montr?al Impact as well as anybody. They got a point in Seattle, and they overcame Mikael Silvestre?s early hiccups to get a first kick point from New York.

But Saturday at Colorado is a no excuses scenario. If The Caleb Porter Project is worth the hype, Portland wins in Commerce City.

Portland has never done well at DSG (outscored 9-1 in three visits), and the team has only three road wins in franchise history, but if they can?t get three points at Colorado, it will be worth considering if they?ve made any progress under Porter.

3 ? Seattle Sounders: Need a stronger performance

If Seattle loses at Real Salt Lake, the organization isn?t going to panic; however, if the team looks as bad as they did last week in San Jose, growing fan could star consolidating their growing worries about Sigi Schmid.

The most concerning part about Seattle isn?t their lack of wins. It?s their lack of quality. They have one goal this year, a score that was more Steve Zakuani?s individual effort (to set up Eddie Johnson against Portland) then anything systemic.

If Seattle goes four games without showing signs of attacking life, the team should be concerned. They have too much talent to be taking these kinds of steps backward.

Right now, it looks like something?s wrong. At some point, you have enough information to act.

4 ? Colorado Rapids: The bar?s pretty low

Conor Casey, Jeff Larentowicz, and Omar Cummings were shipped out this winter. Edson Buddle?s injured, as is Matt Pickens. Mart?n Rivero has yet to play this season.

Of course Colorado?s going to be concerned if they lose at home to Portland. Any team would be, but there weren?t big expectations coming into the year. Colorado need to take a longer view of the season, one which precludes any must-win scenarios five rounds into the campaign.

Source: http://prosoccertalk.nbcsports.com/2013/03/30/major-league-soccer-must-win/related/

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